New Manager DailyHow to handle an employee with a bad attitude
You can't give feedback on an attitude, only on what the person does: the eye-roll in the meeting, the sharp reply to a customer, the "that's not my job." Handle an employee with a bad attitude by naming two or three of those behaviours with dates, saying what they cost, asking what's going on, and agreeing what you need to see instead. Then check it within two weeks, and write it down.
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"Attitude" is the most common complaint managers have and the hardest one to raise, because the moment you say "your attitude," the person hears a judgement about who they are and argues with it. Below: how to turn attitude into behaviours you can name, what to check before you talk, the talk word for word, replies when they deny it, the follow-up plan, the high performer with a bad attitude, when negativity is really a fair complaint, and when it becomes HR's process.
Turn "attitude" into behaviour you can name
An attitude is something you infer. A behaviour is something you saw or heard. Feedback only works on the second, because the person can't argue with what happened, and they can't change something they can't picture.
Before you say anything, translate. For each "attitude" word, write down what they actually did:
| You think | What you actually saw (say this) |
|---|---|
| "Negative" | "In the last three team meetings, when someone suggested a change, you said 'that won't work here' before they'd finished." |
| "Disrespectful" | "On Tuesday, when I asked for the report, you said 'whatever' and walked off." |
| "Lazy" / "doesn't care" | "You've missed the Friday update three weeks running, and you didn't say you'd be late." |
| "Rude to customers" | "Two customers this month complained that you cut them off. I listened to one of the calls." |
| "Not a team player" | "When Jo asked you to cover the 2pm, you said 'not my problem.' That's the second time." |
| "Moody" | "Some mornings you don't answer when people say hello, and the team has started checking with me before asking you things." |
| "Arrogant" | "In the review you told Sam his code was 'amateur' in front of the team." |
| "Always complaining" | "Most days this week you've told the team the new system is a waste of time, during shifts." |
If you can't fill in the right-hand column, you're not ready for the talk. Watch for a week and write down what you see. Sometimes this step shows you that the problem is one bad week, or that you've been reading tone into ordinary behaviour. That's worth knowing too.
Before the talk: three questions
- What's the cost? Who is affected: customers, a colleague, the team, the work? "It annoys me" isn't enough on its own; "two people have asked not to be put on shifts with him" is.
- What changed? If the person used to be fine, something happened: a missed promotion, a new manager (you, possibly), more work, a change in their life. If you're their former peer, read our guide to managing former peers first: some of what looks like attitude is a reaction to the new relationship.
- Is it just them? If the whole team is negative about the same thing, the problem may be the thing, not the person.
What to say, word for word
Private, planned, soon after one of the behaviours. Book 20 minutes; it often takes ten.
Say why you're there. "I want to talk about how things have been going in team meetings. It's not a formal meeting; I'd rather raise it now than let it build."
Name the behaviour. "In the last three meetings, when someone suggested a change, you said 'that won't work here' before they'd finished. On Thursday Priya stopped mid-sentence."
Say the cost. "People have started not bringing ideas, and I need them to. And you know this place better than most; when you shut things down, it carries weight."
Ask, and listen. "How do you see it? Is something going on?"
Agree the change. "Here's what I need: let people finish, and if you think it won't work, say why and what you'd do instead. Can you do that?"
Set the check. "Let's talk again in two weeks and see how it's going."
Two rules make this work. Don't use the word "attitude" at all; you've replaced it with behaviour. And ask for the replacement behaviour, not only the end of the bad one. "Stop being negative" gives them nothing to do. "Say why and what you'd do instead" does.
If you want more wording for openings like this, our guide to giving difficult feedback has openings for eight situations, and the employee feedback examples page has lines for attitude in reviews.
When they say "I don't have an attitude"
You'll hear some version of this. Don't argue about the attitude; go back to what happened.
| They say | You can say |
|---|---|
| "I don't have an attitude problem." | "I'm not talking about attitude. I'm talking about Thursday, when Priya stopped mid-sentence. That's what I need to change." |
| "I was just being honest." | "Honest is good, and I want it. The problem is cutting people off. Say it after they finish, with what you'd do instead." |
| "Who complained?" | "I saw it myself, in the meeting. This is about what I saw." |
| "Everyone's like that here." | "I'll talk to anyone else when I see it. Right now we're talking about you and me." |
| "You're picking on me." | "I can see it feels that way. I'm raising it because I want you on this team and I want it to work." |
| Silence, or "fine." | "I'd rather hear what you think than get a 'fine.' Take a day if you want and tell me tomorrow." |
If they get heated, slow down, lower your voice, and keep to one sentence at a time. Our guide on giving feedback to an employee who gets defensive covers the harder versions.
What's behind it, and what you can do
When you ask "is something going on?", you'll often get the real reason. These are the common ones, and a response for each:
- They wanted your job, or a promotion they didn't get. Say it openly: "I know you went for this role. I'd like to talk about what the next step for you looks like." Then actually talk about it in your 1:1s.
- Too much work. Look at their load with them. Sharp replies are often what overload sounds like.
- They think a decision is wrong. Give them a proper place to say it (a 1:1, a section of the team meeting) so it doesn't come out sideways.
- They feel unseen. Long-serving people who were never thanked can sour. Specific praise for real work helps more than you'd expect.
- Something outside work. Illness, family, money. You don't need details. Point them to whatever support exists (an employee assistance programme, HR, time off) and adjust what you can.
- They don't want to be here. Sometimes the honest answer is that the job no longer fits. That can be a calm conversation about what they want next.
None of these makes the behaviour acceptable. They change what help you offer alongside the request.
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Bad attitude, or a fair complaint?
Before you treat negativity as a problem, check what it's about. A person who complains that the new rota is unfair, that pay is behind the market, or that safety corners are being cut may be right, and saying so isn't an attitude.
In the US, there's also a legal side: the National Labor Relations Act protects most private-sector employees who talk with each other about pay, hours or working conditions, whether or not there's a union. Disciplining someone for complaining about conditions together with colleagues can be unlawful. You can still address how they say it (shouting, insults, refusing work), but take the content seriously, and talk to HR before any formal step that touches complaints about conditions.
A good test: if the person brought the same point to you calmly in a 1:1, would you want to hear it? If yes, the fix is a better place to say it, not silence.
The follow-up plan: the next 30 days
A single talk changes behaviour for a week. What keeps it changed is that you notice, both ways.
| When | What you do |
|---|---|
| Same day | A short written note: what you talked about, what you agreed, the check date. "Thanks for talking. As agreed: let people finish in meetings, and when you disagree, say why and what you'd do. Let's check in on the 18th." |
| The next time they do it right | Say so, briefly and privately: "Thanks for hearing Jo out today, and the point about the supplier was useful." This matters more than anything else on the list. |
| The next time they slip | Raise it the same day, in one sentence: "That was the cut-off we talked about. Let's keep to what we agreed." |
| Two weeks | The check-in. Name what's improved and anything that hasn't. Agree the next two weeks. |
| 30 days | If it's fixed, close it: "This has really changed; thank you." If it hasn't, see the next section. |
Keep your own private log through all of this: the date, what happened, what you said. Three lines a week is enough.
The high performer with a bad attitude
The hardest case is the person whose results are excellent and whose behaviour is wearing everyone else down. New managers often let it go, because the results are visible and the damage isn't.
The damage is real, though. The others see what you tolerate. If the best performer is allowed to be rude, people stop speaking up, and some of the good ones leave. Google's research on its own teams (Project Aristotle) found that psychological safety, whether people feel safe to take risks and speak up in front of each other, was the most important factor in how well a team worked. One person who shuts others down can take that away.
Tell them both parts plainly:
"Your numbers are the best on the team, and I'm not taking that for granted. The way you speak to people in reviews is a problem, though: Sam and Jo have both stopped bringing work to you. I need both: the results and a team that wants to work with you. How you treat people is part of the job here, not extra."
Then hold them to the same follow-up as anyone else. If you write in reviews, write about both.
When it becomes HR's process
Bring in HR, or move to your company's formal process, when:
- the behaviour hasn't changed after two talks and a written note;
- it involves insults, threats, harassment or anything about someone's race, sex, religion, age, disability or other protected characteristic: tell HR straight away, don't wait;
- a customer or colleague has made a formal complaint;
- they refuse reasonable instructions (see employees who undermine your authority);
- the cause seems to be a health issue or something HR should know about.
Your log and your notes are what make the HR conversation short. A formal process might be a written warning or a performance plan; our guide to managing an underperforming employee shows what a plan looks like.
Mistakes to avoid
- Using the word "attitude." It starts an argument about character. Describe what happened.
- Saving it up. Raising six months of examples at once feels like an ambush. Raise it within days.
- Talking about them to the team. It always gets back.
- Matching their tone. If you get sharp, the talk becomes about you.
- Hinting. "Let's all try to stay positive" in a team meeting changes nothing and annoys everyone else.
- Never noticing the improvement. If they change and you say nothing, the old behaviour comes back.
Want to know which talks you tend to avoid? The free leadership style quiz takes about two minutes and tells you.
Questions about employees with a bad attitude
How do you tell an employee they have a bad attitude?
Don't say "bad attitude." Name two or three specific things they did, with dates, say what each one affected, ask how they see it, and say what you need instead.
Can you discipline an employee for a bad attitude?
You can address behaviour that breaks your company's rules or affects the work, ideally after a talk and a written note. Check with HR first, especially if the "negativity" is about pay or working conditions, which can be protected.
How do you document a bad attitude?
Write what happened, not what you think it means: the date, what they said or did, who was there, what it affected, and what you said. Keep it factual and brief.
What do you do with a high performer with a bad attitude?
Raise it the same way you would with anyone, and say plainly that how they treat people is part of the job. Praise the results and hold the line on the behaviour.
What if their attitude is about me?
Ask directly in a 1:1: "It feels like something's off between us. What would you want me to do differently?" Then listen before you answer.
When should I give up on fixing it?
When two talks, a written note and a month of follow-up haven't changed the behaviour. At that point it's your company's formal process, with HR.
Next: read our guide to giving difficult feedback, take the free leadership style quiz, or browse all our guides for new managers.
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Sources
- National Labor Relations Board, "Concerted activity": https://www.nlrb.gov/about-nlrb/rights-we-protect/the-law/interfering-with-employee-rights-section-7-8a1/concerted-activity
- Google re:Work, "Guide: Understand team effectiveness" (Project Aristotle): https://rework.withgoogle.com/en/guides/understanding-team-effectiveness
- LeadX, "How do you manage an employee with a bad attitude?": https://leadx.org/articles/how-do-you-manage-an-employee-with-a-bad-attitude/
- Chron Small Business, "How do I work with an employee with a bad attitude?": https://smallbusiness.chron.com/work-employee-bad-attitude-2896.html
- Mitratech, "How to handle a successful employee with a bad attitude": https://mitratech.com/en-gb/resource-hub/blog/how-to-handle-a-successful-employee-with-a-bad-attitude/