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How to handle employees who undermine your authority

Deal with it early, in private, and about one specific thing they did. First check that it really is undermining and not fair disagreement. Then name the behaviour, say its effect, ask for their side, and agree what happens next time. Stay calm in public, firm in private, and write down what you agreed. If it keeps happening after a clear warning, it's a performance or conduct matter, and that's when you bring in your manager or HR.

This is one of the hardest things a new manager faces, because it feels personal and because doing nothing looks like weakness to the rest of the team. Below: how to tell disagreement from undermining, the seven common forms with what to say to each, what to do when it happens in a meeting, the private talk word for word, the special case of someone who wanted your job, how to stop it starting, and when to escalate.

Disagreement or undermining? Check first

Before you act, be honest about which one you're facing. An employee who disagrees with you openly is doing their job. One who works against a decision after it's made is undermining it. The difference is where and when, not how strongly they feel.

Healthy disagreement	Undermining
Said to you, before the decision	Said to others, after the decision
"I think this will fail because…"	"Don't bother, it'll get reversed anyway."
Raised in the meeting	Raised in the corridor after the meeting
Once the call is made, they do it	They do it their own way, or slowly, or not at all
Goes to your boss with you, or tells you first	Goes around you to your boss

Also ask two uncomfortable questions, as The Hartford's guide on difficult employees suggests. Are they often right? And did they get a real chance to say so before you decided? If a capable person keeps working around you, sometimes it's because decisions reach them as announcements. Asking for their view before you go public solves a surprising amount of this.

None of that excuses undermining. But if the answer to both questions is yes, fix your side first; it makes the conversation much easier.

The common forms, and what to say to each

Undermining rarely looks like open defiance. It usually looks like one of these. The line in the second column is an opener for the private talk; the full shape is further down.

What they do	What you can say (in private)
Challenges or mocks your decisions in front of the team	"In Tuesday's meeting, when I said we'd move the deadline, you said 'here we go again' and laughed. I want to talk about that, because it makes it harder for the team to take the plan seriously."
Goes over your head to your boss	"I heard you raised the rota with Dana directly. I'd like you to bring those things to me first. If we can't sort it, I'll go to Dana with you."
Ignores your instructions or does it their own way	"We agreed the reports go through the new template. Last week's three came in the old one. What happened?"
Tells the team "don't worry about that, it won't last"	"A couple of people told me you'd said the new process won't last. If you think it's wrong, I want to hear why. Telling the team not to bother puts them in a difficult spot."
Gives other people instructions as if they were the manager	"I know you've been here longest and people come to you, and I want that to continue. Assigning work is my call, though. When you told Sam to drop the audit, he didn't know which of us to follow."
Agrees in the meeting, then drags their feet	"You said yes to the new handover on Monday, and it hasn't started. Is there something about it you don't agree with?"
Withholds information you need	"I found out about the client complaint on Friday from someone outside the team. I need to hear these from you first. What got in the way?"

Each opener does the same three things: it names one specific event, it says the effect, and it leaves room for their answer. No labels ("you're disrespectful", "your attitude"), which only start an argument about whether the label is true.

When it happens in front of the team

The urge is to win the exchange on the spot. Don't. A public argument with an employee makes you both look bad, and the rest of the team remembers your tone more than your point.

What to do instead:

Stay level. Slow your voice down. A pause before you answer helps more than any line.
Take the point at face value, once. If there's a real question in the jab, answer it briefly: "Fair question. We're moving it because the client changed their date."
If they push again, move it out of the room. "I can see you feel strongly about this. Let's talk about it properly after the meeting." Then carry on with the next item.
Talk to them the same day. If you wait a week, the moment is gone and it looks like you let it go.

If the behaviour is abusive (shouting, insults, threats), it's different: end the meeting calmly ("Let's stop here and pick this up later") and go to your manager or HR that day.

The private conversation, step by step

Book 20–30 minutes somewhere private. Tell them what it's about in the invite, briefly, so it isn't an ambush: "Can we talk about Tuesday's meeting?"

1. Open with the specific event and its effect

"I want to talk about Tuesday. When I said we were moving the deadline, you said 'here we go again' and the room went quiet. I don't think you meant it as a big deal, but it made it harder for the team to commit to the new date."

2. Ask for their side, and listen

"I'd like to understand what was going on for you. Is there something about how I'm making these calls that bothers you?"

Then stop talking. You'll often hear something real: they weren't consulted, they think the plan is wrong, they're frustrated about something else entirely, they wanted your job. Write it down. You don't have to agree with it, but you need to know it.

3. Separate what you'll change from what you won't

"That's fair: you heard about the deadline in the meeting, with everyone else, and you're the one most affected. Next time something like that changes, I'll tell you first. What I need from you is that if you disagree, you say it to me, not to the room."

4. Agree what happens next time, specifically

"So, from now on: if you think a decision is wrong, you tell me, in a one-on-one or by message, before or after the meeting. I'll listen, and sometimes I'll change my mind. Once it's decided, I need you to back it with the team. Does that work?"

Wait for an actual yes. "Fine, whatever" isn't agreement; ask again: "I want to be sure we're on the same page. Can you live with that?"

5. Close and write it down

End on the working relationship: "I value what you bring to this team, and I'd rather have you arguing with me in private than quiet. Thanks for hearing me out." Afterwards, send a short note of what you agreed, and keep a copy:

"Thanks for the talk today. To recap: if you disagree with a decision, you'll raise it with me directly rather than in front of the team, and I'll give you early notice of changes that affect your work. Let's check in on how it's going in our one-on-one in two weeks."

If they get defensive during the talk (they deny it, blame others, or turn it back on you), our guide on giving feedback to an employee who gets defensive has replies to the usual pushbacks.

When it's someone who wanted your job, or a former peer

This is the most common cause of undermining for a new manager, and it deserves its own approach. The person may be capable, respected, and hurt. They may not even notice what they're doing.

Talk about it openly, early. "I know you went for this role too. That must be frustrating, and I'd understand if it is. I'd like us to work well together, and I want to hear from you about how."
Give them real work that uses their strengths. Leading a project, training new people, owning a client. Undermining often comes from feeling sidelined.
Don't over-correct. Avoiding them, or being extra friendly, both look like fear. Treat them like everyone else.
Still address the behaviour. Sympathy for their disappointment doesn't mean accepting the jabs. The same private talk applies.

Our guide on managing former peers goes further into the first month after a promotion, including the friend on the team.

How to stop it starting

Most undermining grows in gaps. These close the common ones:

Ask before you announce. For any decision that changes people's work, ask the two or three most affected for their view first. "I'm thinking of moving the handover to 4pm. What would that break?"
Explain the why. A decision with a reason is much harder to undermine than one that seems arbitrary.
Make disagreement safe, in the right place. Say it in a team meeting: "If you think I've got something wrong, tell me. I'd much rather hear it from you than find out later." Then thank the first person who does it.
Hold regular one-on-ones. A weekly or fortnightly half hour gives people somewhere private to push back. Without it, the only place to disagree is in front of the team. Our guide to an effective 1 on 1 has the shape.
Be consistent. If you let one person break a rule, the others notice. Fair treatment is what makes the private talk credible.
Agree with your boss how to handle skip-level complaints. Ask them: "If someone on my team comes to you about me, can you send them back to me first?" Most managers will agree.

If it happens again

One talk often works. When it doesn't, step up gradually and in writing.

Step	What you do	What you say
Second time	Another private talk, shorter and firmer; written recap	"We agreed two weeks ago that you'd raise disagreement with me directly. On Thursday it happened again in the team meeting. I need this to stop."
Third time	Tell your manager; ask HR how your company handles a formal warning	"This is the third time we've talked about this. If it happens again, it'll become a formal matter. I'd rather it didn't."
After a warning	Follow your company's process with HR	Whatever the process says, in writing

Through every step, keep a simple log: the date, what happened, who was there, what you said, what was agreed. Facts only, written the same day. It protects both of you and is the first thing HR will ask for. When the problem is really about the quality of their work rather than their behaviour toward you, our guide on managing an underperforming employee covers the improvement plan.

When it becomes insubordination, and HR's call

Most companies treat a clear refusal to follow a reasonable instruction as insubordination, which is usually a conduct matter with its own process. Go to your manager or HR straight away, rather than after three talks, when:

they refuse outright to do something reasonable that's part of their job;
there are threats, insults, or shouting;
they're turning the team against you in a way that's affecting the work;
they say your decision is unfair because of something like age, race, sex or disability, or they raise a complaint about you. That needs HR's guidance, not a private fix;
you're thinking about a warning or any formal step.

Policies and the law on discipline differ between companies and places, so check what yours says before you mention consequences. This guide is about the conversations; HR owns the process.

Mistakes new managers make

Waiting for it to stop on its own. It rarely does, and the team reads silence as permission.
Fighting it in public. You may win the argument and lose the room.
Talking about "respect" or "attitude". Name the thing they did, not what you think it says about them.
Pulling rank. "Because I'm the manager" ends the conversation and starts the resentment.
Complaining about them to others on the team. It always gets back.
Ignoring the good points inside the jabs. If they're right about the plan, say so and change it. That makes you stronger, not weaker.

Some managers avoid this talk for weeks; others jump in too hard. The free leadership style quiz takes about 2 minutes and tells you which way you lean, and which conversations you're most likely to put off.

Questions about employees who undermine you

How do you deal with an employee who doesn't respect you?

Don't try to win respect in general. Pick one specific thing they did, talk about it privately, ask for their side, and agree what happens next time. Respect usually follows consistent, fair handling of specific moments.

Should I tell my boss that an employee is undermining me?

Mention it early, as information, not a complaint: "I'm handling an issue with how Sam pushes back in meetings; I've talked to him and will let you know if it continues." That way your boss isn't surprised if Sam goes to them.

What if the employee is better at the job than me?

That's common, especially after a promotion. Say so: "You know this work better than I do, and I'll rely on that." Your job is different from theirs. Their skill doesn't give them the right to undermine decisions, though.

Is undermining a manager a reason to fire someone?

It can become one if it continues after clear, documented warnings, but that's decided through your company's process with HR, not by you alone.

What if the whole team is undermining me?

Then it's usually about a change or a decision, not about one person. Hold a team meeting, ask what's not working and listen, and talk to your manager about what's behind it.

Next: read our guide to difficult conversations with employees for openings to eight other common talks, take the free leadership style quiz, or browse all our guides for new managers.

Sources

The Hartford, "How to deal with difficult employees": https://www.thehartford.com/insights-center/talent-hr/how-to-deal-with-difficult-employees
ManageBetter, "6 ways to deal with employees who undermine your decisions": https://www.managebetter.com/blog/6-ways-to-deal-with-employees-who-undermine-your-decisions/