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One on one questions to ask employees (and what to do with the answers)

The best one-on-one questions are open, specific and asked again every week: "What's on your mind?", "What's slowing you down?", "What do you need from me?" Ask two or three of those, follow up on what they say, and save the bigger questions about growth, the team and your own management for once or twice a month.

Lists of 50 or 120 questions are easy to find and hard to use. Read a list of questions at someone and the meeting turns into a survey. Below you get the five questions worth asking every time, then a set for each topic, questions for specific situations (a new hire, someone struggling, someone who might leave, a former peer), the follow-ups that turn "fine" into a real answer, the questions to avoid, and what to do afterward so people keep answering honestly.

How to use these questions

A question only works if you're ready for the answer and you do something with it. Three rules cover most of it.

• Two or three per meeting, not twenty. Their topics come first. Your questions fill the gaps or open a topic they'd never bring up alone. If you only have time for one, ask "What do you need from me?"
• Open with "what" or "how". "Is the project going OK?" gets "yes". "What's the hardest part of the project right now?" gets a sentence you can follow up on. "Why" questions often sound like blame ("Why is it late?"), so turn them into "what": "What got in the way?"
• Follow up before you move on. The first answer is usually the safe one. One follow-up ("Say more about that" or "What would make it better?") is where the real answer tends to come out.

Then stay quiet. Count to five in your head after you ask. Most people fill a silence with the thing they were deciding whether to say.

If you haven't set up regular one-on-ones yet, start with our guide on how to have an effective 1 on 1: how often to meet, a 30-minute shape, and what to say in the first one.

Five questions to ask in every one-on-one

These work every week because the answers change every week. Use the same ones for a few months and people start preparing their answers before they walk in, which is what you want.

The last question matters more than it looks. It turns the meeting into a loop: next week starts with "How did it go with the thing you were going to finish?" and the one-on-one becomes the place work actually moves.

Questions for your first one-on-one with someone

The first meeting is for learning how this person works. Take notes; you'll use the answers for months. Pick four or five from this list, not all of them.

• "What do you like most about your job right now? And least?"
• "What's something about how you work that a new manager should know?"
• "How do you like to get feedback: in the moment, written down, saved for our 1:1?"
• "How do you like to be recognised? Some people love a public thank-you and some would rather not."
• "What did a past manager do that really helped you? What did one do that you'd rather I didn't?"
• "When you're stressed or stuck, how would I know?"
• "What do you wish this team did differently?"
• "Where would you like to be in a year or two? It's fine not to know."
• "Is there anything going on outside work you'd like me to know about, like a schedule you work around? Only if you want to share."

Lara Hogan, who managed engineering teams at Etsy and wrote Resilient Management, published a list of first one-on-one questions along these lines and suggests keeping each person's answers where you'll see them before every later meeting. That habit is the part most managers skip.

Questions about workload and priorities

• "On a scale of 1 to 10, how full is your plate? What would bring it down a point?"
• "What's the one thing you're working on that matters most this week?"
• "Is there anything you're doing that you think nobody would miss if you stopped?"
• "What are you waiting on from someone else?"
• "Which deadline worries you most?"
• "Do you know what's expected of you on this project? Is any of it unclear?"

The last one comes from Gallup's Q12 employee survey, whose first item is "I know what is expected of me at work." When someone hesitates on it, the problem is usually yours to fix: the goal, the deadline or who decides was never said clearly.

Questions about blockers and problems

• "What's the biggest problem you're dealing with right now?"
• "What took longer this week than it should have?"
• "If you could fix one process here, which would it be?"
• "Is there a decision you're waiting on me for?"
• "What's something you've been meaning to raise but haven't?"

When they bring a problem, don't solve it straight away. Ask first: "What have you thought of trying?" and "What would you do if I weren't here?" Often they already have a good answer and need permission, not instructions. When they don't, you've learned where to coach.

Questions about how they're doing

• "How are you, really? Not the work, you."
• "How did this week feel compared to last?"
• "What's giving you energy lately, and what's draining it?"
• "How's the balance between work and everything else at the moment?"
• "Is there anything at work that's bothering you that you haven't said out loud?"

Ask these in a private place and mean them. If someone tells you something about their health, family or money, listen, thank them for telling you, and ask what would help at work: time, a lighter week, flexibility. You don't need to fix it. If your company has an employee assistance programme, mention it. If it sounds like a crisis, or anyone is at risk, involve HR or professional help the same day.

Questions about the team

• "How are things working between you and the rest of the team?"
• "Who on the team has helped you lately? I'd like to thank them."
• "Is there anyone you find hard to work with? What happens?"
• "What's one thing the team should stop doing?"
• "Does everyone on the team pull their weight? You don't have to name anyone."
• "What would make our team meeting more useful?"

A complaint about a colleague is information, not a verdict. Ask what they saw, thank them, and don't promise an outcome. If it's about harassment, discrimination or safety, it isn't a one-on-one topic any more: tell them you're taking it seriously and bring in HR.

Questions about growth and career

Once a month is about right. Weekly feels like pressure; once a year in a review is too late.

• "What's a skill you'd like to be known for a year from now?"
• "Which part of your job would you do all day if you could? Which part would you drop?"
• "Is there a part of my job you'd like to try?"
• "Who in the company has a job you find interesting? Want me to set up a coffee?"
• "What's one small step toward that we could take this month?"
• "Do you feel you're making progress here? What would make it faster?"

Kim Scott, in Radical Candor, suggests a separate "career conversation" where you ask about their life story, then their dreams, then the next 18 months. It's a longer talk, an hour or so, and worth doing once with each person in your first few months.

Questions to ask for feedback about you

This is the set new managers skip, and it's the one that builds trust fastest, because it shows the feedback goes both ways.

• "What's one thing I could do differently that would make your job easier?"
• "Is there anything I should be doing for you that I'm not?" (a version of this is in Google's re:Work guide to one-on-ones)
• "Was there a moment this week where I made something harder?"
• "Do I give you enough feedback? Too much?"
• "What should I stop doing?"
• "When I check in on your work, does it feel like help or like checking up?"

The first few times, the answer will be "No, all good." That's normal. Kim Scott's advice is to keep asking, be comfortable with the silence, and reward the first honest answer: thank them, and change something they can see. Then say so: "You said our Monday updates felt like a check-up, so I've stopped them." That one sentence earns you every honest answer after it.

Questions for specific situations

Some weeks the usual questions don't fit. Here's what to ask when something specific is going on.

The stay interview idea comes from Beverly Kaye and Sharon Jordan-Evans, whose book Love 'Em or Lose 'Em argues you should ask people why they stay before they give you a reason to leave. Ask it plainly, and don't promise what you can't deliver, like a raise you can't approve.

For a former peer, our guide to managing former peers after a promotion has the first conversation in full.

Follow-up questions that get past "fine"

The question you plan matters less than the one you ask next. Keep these in your head:

And the most useful follow-up of all is "Anything else?" asked once more at the end. The second "anything else" is often where the real topic shows up.

Questions to avoid

• Yes-or-no questions on things that matter. "Are you happy here?" gets "yes". Try "What would make this job better for you?"
• "Why" questions about a problem. "Why didn't you tell me?" sounds like an accusation. "What made it hard to raise?" gets the same information.
• Leading questions. "You're fine with the new schedule, right?" tells them the answer you want.
• Status questions. "Where are you on the report?" belongs in a tracker or a message. If the one-on-one becomes status updates, people stop bringing anything else.
• Prying into private life. Asking how their weekend was is friendly. Asking about health, pregnancy, family plans, religion or politics is not your business unless they bring it up, and some of those questions can create real problems for the company. If they raise it, listen and ask what would help at work.
• Questions you won't act on. "What would you change about the team?" asked every week, with nothing ever changing, teaches people to stop answering.
• Five questions at once. Ask one, wait, follow up.

What to do with the answers

People keep answering honestly if they see three things: you remembered, you acted, and it stayed private.

1. Write it down. A shared doc with a section for each meeting works: their topics, your topics, and what each of you will do. Private notes (what they shared about home, something sensitive) stay in your own notes, not the shared doc.
2. Close the loop next time. Start the next one-on-one with last week's actions: "You were going to send the draft; I was going to get you access to the budget sheet. I did mine. How about yours?"
3. Act on one thing quickly. In your first month especially, fix something small they raised within a week. It shows the questions aren't for show.
4. Say when you can't. "I asked about the extra headcount. The answer's no for this quarter. Here's what I can do instead." A clear no is better than silence.
5. Keep confidences. Don't repeat what one person told you in another one-on-one, even without the name. Teams are small and people work it out. The exceptions are safety, harassment and anything the company requires you to report: be honest that you'll have to pass those on.

A four-week question rotation

To keep meetings fresh without making them up each time, use the five every-meeting questions each week and add one theme a week. Over a month you cover everything that matters.

Week 4 is where small feedback lives. If you've got something harder to say, our guide on how to give difficult feedback has the steps and the words.

An example: one 30-minute meeting

Here's how the questions fit together in a normal week, week 2 of the rotation:

• Minute 0–2: "How's your week been?" Small talk is fine.
• Minute 2–15: "What's on your mind?" They bring two topics: a client who keeps changing the brief, and a training course. You ask "What have you thought of trying?" on the client and agree they'll propose a change-request step.
• Minute 15–22: Your topic, the theme: "How are things with the team? Anything draining your energy?" They mention late-night messages from a colleague. You ask for an example and say you'll think about team norms for after-hours messages.
• Minute 22–27: "What do you need from me?" Approval for the course. You say you'll find out the budget by Friday.
• Minute 27–30: "What will you get done before next week?" They'll draft the change-request email. You write both actions in the shared doc.

Next week starts with: "Did the change-request email go out? I got you an answer on the course."

Want to know which of these questions you'll find natural and which you'll avoid? The free leadership style quiz takes about 2 minutes and names your style, with the conversations it tends to put off.

Questions about one-on-one questions

How many questions should I ask in a one-on-one?

Two or three of your own, after their topics. With follow-ups, that fills a 30-minute meeting. More than five and it starts to feel like an interview.

Should I send the questions in advance?

For the bigger ones, yes. A line the day before ("Tomorrow I'd like to ask about what you want to grow into, no need to prepare much") gives quieter people time to think. The every-week questions don't need warning.

What are good one-on-one questions for a new employee?

"What's surprised you so far?", "What's harder to find out than it should be?", "Is the job what you expected?" and "Who's been helpful?" Ask them weekly for the first two or three months.

What if my employee won't open up?

Go first: share something small you're working on fixing. Ask about one specific thing rather than in general. Then give it time. Trust takes several meetings, especially with someone who had a bad manager before.

Is it OK to ask about their personal life?

A friendly, general question is fine ("How was the weekend?", "Anything outside work I should know about?"). Don't dig into health, family plans, religion or politics. If they share, listen and ask what would help at work.

What questions should an employee ask their manager in a one-on-one?

The mirror of these: "What should I focus on?", "How am I doing?", "What would you do in my place?" and "What do you need from me?" If you share this page with your team, it tells them what you'd like to talk about too.

Next: take the free leadership style quiz to see your style and the one-on-one habits it makes easy or hard, or browse all our guides for new managers.

Sources

• Google re:Work, "Hold effective 1:1 meetings": https://rework.withgoogle.com/intl/en/guides/hold-effective-one-on-one-meetings
• Lara Hogan, "Questions for our first 1:1": https://larahogan.me/blog/first-one-on-one-questions/ and Resilient Management, A Book Apart, 2019.
• Kim Scott, Radical Candor, St. Martin's Press, 2017 (career conversations; asking for feedback).
• Gallup, Q12 Employee Engagement Survey: https://www.gallup.com/workplace/356063/gallup-q12-employee-engagement-survey.aspx
• Beverly Kaye and Sharon Jordan-Evans, Love 'Em or Lose 'Em: Getting Good People to Stay, Berrett-Koehler (stay interviews).
• University of Calgary HR, "Questions for one-on-ones": https://www.ucalgary.ca/hr/training-development/connect-perform/one-one-meetings/questions-one-ones